Dear Reverend,
Forgive me for I have sinned. It all started last night. I was at home crafting a backpack under the self pius white hue of the Al Gore endorced florescent lighting that illuminates my room. When all of a sudden....the unthinkable happened....I ran out of thread!!! I had to have the pack done by early the next morning and it was already almost midnight. So you see I was in quite a pickle, what was I to do? The sensable thing would have been to wait until morning when a local shop was open. but that was (in my mind) too late. As I sat there pondering my options a voice came unto thee. Quiet at first but it grew swiftly in my already desperate mind. it said only this \"WALMART\" over and over rythmicly beating through my mind. and thats when it happened. I; in a desperate shopping frenzy; grabed my keys, got into my car and made a special emergency trip to the 24hour super center conveniently located just down the road....the rest I\'m ashamed to even utter. but you can piece it together. not only did I buy the thread (.99) but i; in a state of unholy consumption; spent nearly $25 on crap that i already had. the devil had won. That night I finished making the bag, happy with my quick thinking while in a bind. but when I awoke the next day I could not even look at the bag. for I knew that the thread within was tainted. BLOOD THREAD!! I sold the bag and went aboout my day but heavy on my shoulders has my selling out to the devil been. and that my dear reverend is the tale of this young mans darkest hour. I hope the dammage I have done isnt too great. -repentfuly yours -Michael,

Saint Michael,
Just a midnight grand mal seizure of SHOPPING SIN! I want you to forgive yourself now. You know, they've been spending billions getting that buy-switch in your brain to go on when you need some thread. I'm not surprised that your backpack sewing venture was interrupted by the sonic logo of WALMART, pulsing in your blood like a damn drum machine. But look - $25 is a small price to pay for what you can learn here. It's way cheaper than a New York therapist, I'll tell you... If this is your darkest hour, then the darkness for the dawn is just enough, and you can turn that Al Gore endorse light back on... --Rev